My family and ADHD
I was diagnosed with ADHD (combined type) in 2020 at the grand old age of 42. For me, this was the final part of my journey, and completion of my ‘neurodivergent profile’ which enabled me to understand myself…. finally! Since then, within my close family, i.e., my parents and siblings, the neurodivergent among us, now outweigh the neurotypical family members, on a ratio of 3:2. It’s been a fascinating journey of discovery, and I feel that, as a family, we understand each other so much better than in the past.
Looking further back within the family, I believe that it is possible to see neurodivergence - in particular ADHD, in at least two generations before my parents’ generation. For example, my paternal great-grandfather emigrated with his family, first to South Africa, and then to America, where my nana was born. I don’t think it is a coincidence that prevalence of ADHD in the USA is reported as higher than in Europe… I can imagine that ADHD-traits, such as adventurousness, novelty-seeking, and entrepreneurship would almost have been pre-requisites for emigration to the New World in the early 20th Century. However, the family returned to the UK when my nana was around ten years old, which, unfortunately, resulted in her having a nervous breakdown. We have deduced from this that she was highly sensitive - which is also a trait that is associated with ADHD.
So, that brings us to the present day. I have a parent and sibling who are not officially diagnosed with ADHD, but definitely fit the criteria, although, unlike me, they appear to be more of the ‘inattentive’ type. I also have four ‘niblings’ (that’s the gender-neutral term for nieces and nephews), of whom, three clearly have neurodivergent traits / diagnoses.
As for me… although I only recently found out about my ADHD, I know that I have had it all of my life. In fact, my Mum has told me how, before I was born, they thought I was a boy because I kicked so much (gender stereotype!). When I was born, I had the umbilical cord around my neck three times - maybe a testament to my restlessness in the womb - and was saved by the quick actions of the midwife.
Overall, all of my life, I’ve always felt restless, impatient and frustrated with the world… with other people who were either too quick for me, or too slow… I’ve struggled with pretty much every aspect of life, even though I always tried my best to compensate. My lifelong struggles with depression and anxiety have improved in recent years due to better understanding and acknowledgement of how neurodivergence (and neurotypicality) affects our family!